I don’t want periods.

No, not just the pain. Not just the discomfort and the mood swings and the brake on sexy-time. I simply and surely do not want periods. I’m pretty sure many people (cis women, trans men, trans women who suffer the symptoms of periods) would agree with me on this. There is literally nothing rewarding about this experience, except to know that on one day each month, it stops, and then you’re free of the hassle for three weeks if you’re lucky, or less.

So my question to the Universe - and to the very smart scientists across the world - is, why oh why haven’t you found a cure for this menace yet? Why can’t we all just suspend our periods until we want to have babies or something? Why can’t the pain just go away?

I mean, why are driverless cars a priority but not a cure for periods?

Driverless cars! Who asked for them?

Although no one asked for my opinion, here are four things I’d rather the scientific community focussed on:

1. A cure for periods/period pain: Yep, I’ve gone on about it already, but seriously, you’ll be helping so many people lead more productive and happy lives. We wouldn’t have to be debating period leave and whether or not it’s a feminist thing to do to ask for period leave. We won’t have to face debilitating pain that’s been compared to the pain of a heart attack, each and every month. So please, seriously, get on with it.

2. Teleportation: Before you roll your eyes - I live in Bengaluru, the Garden Traffic City. Here, people spend more time in traffic jams and complaining about traffic jams than getting any work done. The only good thing to have come out of this traffic is perhaps that one time a terrorist attack was averted because the terrorist was stuck in traffic. So, really, for our burgeoning cities, teleportation is the best gift from the scientific community - and NOT DRIVERLESS CARS! Also, a shout out at this point to anyone who is in, or has ever been in, a long distance relationship.

3. Time machine: Missed deadlines? Bad taste in men? That one time you decided to yell at your boss and lost your job? Really, all these things can be averted if only we got a do-over. We could even stop ourselves from putting out the tweets in bad taste that we once thought was a good idea. Who knows, may be America would go back and un-elect Trump! We need some time machines, guys, preferably something that works and looks like the Time Turners in Harry Potter.

4. Mansplain blockers: We all know men who have attempted to explain breastfeeding to moms. They can’t help themselves, really, from saying the first stupid thing that comes to their mind. They can’t help the super condescending or patronising tone either, bless their little souls. So what has the scientific community done for them? Why haven’t scientists created a little mind-voice machine that would stop men from mansplaining?

Views expressed are author's own.