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A bitter legal battle over child custody ended in a horrific murder-suicide that claimed four lives, including that of two minors, in Kannur district. Kaladharan KT (36) and his mother Usha (56) poisoned his children, Hima (6) and Kannan (2) at their home in Ramanthali, Kannur district in Kerala on December 22. The adults subsequently died by suicide.
But the focus soon shifted from the tragedy itself to a polarised online discourse where the incident was weaponised to blame the mother and how family laws work against men.
According to reports, Kaladharan was in a legal dispute with his wife, and the court had ordered that the custody of children be handed over to their mother.
The police had also found a suicide note by Kaladharan. Reports said the note blamed his estranged wife for their deaths.
Earlier, Kaladharan’s father was booked under POCSO (Protection of Children from Sexual Offences) Act, following a complaint filed by Kaladharan’s wife. The grandfather started to live separately after the case was registered.
Sympathy for father, hostility for mother
The incident has drawn widespread attention on social media, with much hostility directed at the children’s mother. Many blamed her for the tragedy, while expressing sympathy for Kaladharan, despite the deaths of two children.
“A woman is the primary reason for a family to get ruined, because the law stands with them,” read a comment on Facebook. Many users claimed the case reflects the legal system favouring women, and that some women take advantage of this. Another comment read, “Women misuse the law. Women-oriented laws harass men and their families greatly.”
The narrative has quickly turned against the mother, with people holding her accountable for the deaths. “The family burned to ashes by a woman’s vengeance,” read another comment.
Reacting to the incident Vattiyoorkav Ajith Kumar, president All Kerala Men’s Association claimed that the moment a woman files a complaint, the court and police start torturing the man, and the same has happened in this case. “Why is the woman's photo not out in the media?” he asked in a Facebook video.
Others commented on the irony in these online discussions, where people defend the man who killed his children, just because the court granted the mother their custody.
“That father, who killed the three people whom he should have protected the most, simply because he could not defeat his enemy and did not want to live with that blow to his ego, is nothing but a psycho criminal,” Sreekala Devayanam, a writer, wrote in her Facebook post.
Patriarchy at play
Speaking to TNM, social activist and advocate Cuckoo Devaky said that the social media outrage is a reflection of deep-rooted patriarchy.
“Patriarchy’s aggressiveness always falls on women. In cases like this, the woman is blamed, with people saying the tragedy could have been avoided if she had taken better care of the family,” she said.
“At the same time, it is this social attitude that pushed the man to the edge, an inability to accept that his wife left him, which hurt his ego. Patriarchy reinforces such ideas in society,” she added.
She also pointed out that in this case, the children’s fundamental rights were ignored. “The children were entitled to the right to life under the constitution. In this case, even that was not considered.” she said.
Similar patterns have been observed in previous cases, including the suicide of Bengaluru techie Atul Subhash who alleged harassment from his estranged wife and her family members. It quickly divided the internet, turning the tragedy into a men’s rights versus feminism debate and how laws always favour women.
The Payyannur police has registered an First Information Report (FIR) for unnatural death and an investigation is underway.
If you are aware of anyone facing mental health issues or feeling suicidal, please provide help. Here are some helpline numbers of suicide-prevention organisations that can offer emotional support to individuals and families.
Tamil Nadu
State health department's suicide helpline: 104
Sneha Suicide Prevention Centre - 044-24640050 (listed as the sole suicide prevention helpline in Tamil Nadu)
Andhra Pradesh
Life Suicide Prevention: 78930 78930
Roshni: 9166202000, 9127848584
Karnataka
Sahai (24-hour): 080 65000111, 080 65000222
Kerala
Maithri: 0484 2540530
Chaithram: 0484 2361161
Both are 24-hour helpline numbers.
Telangana
State government's suicide prevention (tollfree): 104
Roshni: 040 66202000, 6620200
SEVA: 09441778290, 040 27504682 (between 9 am and 7 pm
Aasara offers support to individuals and families during an emotional crisis, for those dealing with mental health issues and suicidal ideation, and to those undergoing trauma after the suicide of a loved one.
24x7 Helpline: 9820466726
Click here for working helplines across India.