Two days after actor Honey Rose first spoke up about the persistent harassment she faced from an “individual”, she filed a police complaint against businessman Boby Chemmanur on Tuesday, January 7. Boby’s brand of misogyny and his constant use of innuendos have several fans among men of all ages, who are among the scores of commenters abusing Honey on social media.
In an interview with TNM, Honey Rose speaks about the abuse and its effects on her, and her decision to stand up to the abusers. Excerpts:
Was there any particular event that led to your first social media post against the obscene abuse you have been subjected to?
Everyone knows that I have faced continuous cyberbullying and body shaming from various social media accounts and individuals, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic.
I have been a part of the south Indian film industry for the past 20 years. Initially, my family and I thought that this negativity was limited to cyberspace and we were in no way connected to the abusers. So, I dismissed these comments from my mind with contempt.
But four months ago, I was a guest at the inauguration of a store of Boby Chemmanur International Jewellers. That was not the first time I worked with the company. I was there representing the establishment and not a person.
It was without my consent that he held my hand and twirled me. Then he made obscene comments. Those videos are available on the internet.
Even though it made me uncomfortable, I didn't know how to react, as there were a lot of people around us. Had I said something, it would have become news the next day.
Before this particular event, I hadn’t had any bitter experiences from [Boby Chemmanur]. I didn’t know him personally, and apart from casual conversations on stage, I had no connections with him. But that incident, followed by a video [of him making lewd comments about me] made me take this step.
Boby Chemmanur has made lewd remarks on multiple occasions. Was there more than that? Could you speak about the nature of abuse and harassment you faced?
On that day, he spoke in sexual innuendos, and made body shaming comments in the presence of a large crowd and the media. After the inaugural function, he also made derogatory comments while we were inside the shop.
What I understand is, it is not something he said spontaneously. He had prepared this and came.
After the programme, I returned home feeling mentally stressed. I informed this to the manager, who contacted me for the function. My mother and I clearly communicated to him how difficult it was for me.
After a month, I was invited to inaugurate a gym and a parlour in Kannur. I was unaware that he would also attend the event until the previous day, when he posted a promotional video on Instagram tagging me. In the video, he cracked crass jokes and made sexually suggestive comments. A month later, I received another invitation from Chemmanur Jewellery, but I declined it stating that I was no longer interested in associating with them.
Then recently, in a video that circulated on social media, he was seen justifying his words and actions using more innuendos and obscenity. My colleagues and relatives shared it to me and asked why I was not reacting, if this meant that I supported him, and whether I received money for not reacting against him.
Later I saw another video of him saying “you can think of double or triple meanings to what I said about the actor”, and using lewd gestures.
What he is doing through this is directing other sexually perverted people like him to make [the abuse] even worse. I know I am not the only one who is facing this. Because after I mentioned his name in my social media post, I received calls and messages from several women.
I feel relaxed today. This is a revolution for me.
What prompted the decision to legally proceed against Boby Chemmanur? Did the public support that your first two posts garnered embolden you to file the complaint?
Even as I was writing my first post, I had decided that I would file a case. But I took time to prepare, as he is a person with considerable influence. I needed to consult with lawyers and gain more legal knowledge. After the discussion, I collected all the evidence and submitted it in a pen drive to the police, along with a written complaint.
Is it intimidating that you are getting ready for a legal battle against a wealthy and influential businessman?
No, because I have already endured a lot of humiliation for no reason.
These people make comments and then disappear, but we must face the burden that comes with it. Whenever I post something on Facebook or any other social media platform, I receive even worse comments. Everyone notices this.
It was I who bore the burden of proving that I am not the person he says I am. He literally dragged me to the point of filing a case.
The obscenity that Boby Chemmannur uses has a wide base of followers among men of all ages. How do you think it influences people/legitimises misogyny when a man with power and money does it?
I will blame myself for this. People, including myself, did not react properly until now, and that’s why this keeps happening over and over again. Initially, I thought that since he is an influential person, something might happen to me if I spoke up.
He has money, but we have laws and a strong police force. No matter what the outcome of the case, I believe that voicing my concerns was a good thing.
You have been subjected to constant and relentless body shaming and slut shaming. Facing constant abuse is not easy on anyone. How has online and offline harassment affected you and your mental health?
I was a person who wished to believe that slut shaming and online harassment did not affect me at all. But if you check my hospital history for the last few months, you will see that I consulted doctors every week. I am taking medication for anxiety and depression because of these issues.
All the while, his stardom grew and everything he said became glorified, enabling him to repeat the same behaviour without consequences.
After you spoke up, you have been getting support from a lot of male and female colleagues. Does this mean that you would also now think of voicing support more for others?
I am not doing this solely for myself. I chose to file the complaint after realising that [the abuse] has crossed limits. I believe that the support now I am receiving is because of that.
I grew tired of listening to this, like everyone else. I am not facing this because I am a celebrity or because I work in the film industry. Every woman faces this in one way or the other.
Do you believe it is important to come forward, even though it is not easy?
I don’t want to put that burden on anyone. Because this is not easy. Others probably have their limits in doing things. So, if you are ready to come forward, do it. I too am doing what I am able to do.
