Keerthi Prakasam| The News Minute| August 2, 2014| 10.00 am ISTSoona Rachel today is a liberated woman, much liberated than she was when she was married to a classmate years ago. “I knew the first time I kissed him that it was not natural”, she says. And what was natural for Soona seemed horribly wrong to many, including her parents. Soona is one of the many members of the LGBTQ community. Last week, the LGBT community took to the streets in Kochi, an assertion of gay pride with the fifth queer parade that city has seen.Often shunned because of orthodoxy rather than logic, it is important to listen to the stories of people who are not heterosexual, because every time someone tells their story, we get to realize the damage the society is doing by building a wall around them.The common concept that isolating them might do good is one myth that should be destroyed at the earliest. Being gay/lesbian does not mean that anyone should be penalized for it, after talking with some of the participants who took part in the pride. If there is one common good that this community yearns for, it is acceptance. After all why should one be left alone just because they come out of the closet. Soona relates her experience of growing up lesbian in Kerala: “Growing up in Kerala is not the best experience when one is confused about their sexual identity. I was in 7th standard when I developed a crush on a girl, and then I thought it was love. The fact that feelings might be sexual was unknown to me.”There was no gay, lesbian or even straight as far as Soona was concerned. Nobody spoke of sex, this stigma regarding everything remotely related to sex is one of the many reasons that one finds it so uneasy and scared to come out of the closet, she says.Once Soona and her ex-husband were watching the gay pride that was being held in Bangalore and he remarked “They are so unnatural, they should be shot”. Soona says this statement struck her, soon enough she came out of the closet and told her close friends, parents and even her husband that she was a lesbian.“My husband was a nice man, he did not try to drag the divorce case, we filed for a joint petition”, Soona says, “But convincing my parents took some time, even today they hope that this is just a phase in my life, but that apart I am confident now, after all when your parents know the whole of you there is little you need to be afraid of”. There are many like her. Dr Jijo Kurien is a Research Assistant who almost got married last year. “It would have been a horrible thing to do, but soon enough my fiancée understood that something was wrong. When she questioned me regarding this I thought that was the right time to come out. The marriage was cancelled, and I told my parents about my plight too. The first reaction was that it was just a phase I should forget about, and then they asked me to get married no matter what. But I stood by my decision firmly”, Jijo says.According to him, he knew that he was gay since he was 13 or 14. “But most of the men that I met during my younger days were men who would not come out of the closet, but instead would cheat on their wives. It was much later that I was introduced to openly gay men who were living a perfectly happy life”, he says. Now, Jijo is not only openly gay but also a very strong activist who advocate for the LGBT rights. He was also the programme co-ordinator of the Kochi pride and also has a very active group in Facebook called Queerela.For Nithu Chichu, coming out open resulted in her being thrown out of her house. “That happened ten years ago, now they are all supportive and I live with my partner now”, she says. Nithu says she makes it a point to tell everyone she meets about her sexuality, “This I do because there have been ample instances when people have turned their back to me when they heard from someone else about my sexuality”.Nithu says that last year’s Supreme Court ruling criminalizing 377 was a huge blow to both her and her partner. “We convinced our parents, we convinced ourselves that we are ready to live together and suddenly come the ruling. All I felt at the time was despair and nothing else”, she says.Today Nithu is a cinematographer who lives with pride, along with her partner. “We are all criminals according to the law, and that needs to be changed. I intend to work for that”, she says. Among the 400 off participants who took part in the queer pride march in Kochi last week, were Jijo, Soona and Nithu. “It felt nice to see so many people coming in, shedding their masks. The fact that there were 200 more people than the last pride march held in Thrissur was a big thing for us”, Jijo who was also part of the organizing committee says.According to him, there were positive signs all around. Around 40 different organizations - bikers, human rights activists and even environmentalists came to lend support. “Even the police made sure that our pride took place with no ill happenings”, Jijo says.The group walked from the High Court junction to Rajendra Maidan with rainbow flags, colorful balloons and a lot of energy. Unlike the parade that took place last time, the organizers say this time almost no one tried to cover their faces.“It is a long term goal, to change the mindset of the society and of the lawmakers” Jijo says.