Since it appears to be the season of weddings and open letters, I would like to another to the list. Sorry to be addressing Aishwarya Rai Bachchan (I will respect her wishes to be called Rai Bachchan) again, but here’s another openish letter for the former Miss World.A few days ago, a group of people wrote an open letter to Aishwarya, urging her to dissociate herself from being part of Kalyan Jewellers’ ad campaign that promoted racial stereotypes that had implications for slavery and servitude, especially where children were involved. They do acknowledge that she may have been unaware of the advertisement that would ultimately appear in newspapers, a fact she herself later stated. Following the outcry the campaign has drawn, Kalyan Jewellers has now withdrawn the campaign.Did people over react to the advertisement? Not really. But there are some aspects of the advertisement that people did under-react to: the sheer amount of jewellery the woman in the advertisement is wearing.This brings to mind images of Rajasthani royals. Visit museums in Rajasthan where women royals’ clothes are displayed, and the guides will proudly tell you how much their lehengas alone weighed. Add the jewellery, and you’d perhaps be talking of around 30 kg more than the woman’s weight.Jewellery per se, is not problematic. It is also an expression of a community’s culture. But in Indian society, despite the many changes, most parents (at least those who can afford it) invest in jewellery for their daughters and education for their sons. Even parents who allow daughters to study as much as they want, will set aside several lakhs of rupees for their daughters’ wedding jewellery.For parents who are affluent, that jewellery becomes display of elitism, class and sometimes arrogance. As for poor families, that jewellery seals their doom as many people incur debts merely to buy daughters’ gold for the wedding. There are of course, the added depressing links to dowry and so on.Jewellery shops are just one among the many businesses that are capitalizing on gender stereotypes in Indian society. It’s not fair to blame them alone, or ask Aishwarya Rai (conscious reference to her maiden name) alone to stand up for simpler weddings, lesser objectification of women, the whole shebang.But the reason I appeal to Aishwarya Rai, and not Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is because she hails from a place with a fascinating history and a harsh present. Coastal Karnataka, where Mangalore (officially called Mangaluru, and Kudla to the local people) is located, is home to the Bunt community, into which Aishwarya Rai was born. Irrespective of the local caste dynamics in which Bunts are dominant community, but the Bunts' marriage rituals are worth emulating. There is no holy fire, no priest to mediate between the gods and lesser mortals like us. As the father of a Bunt friend once told me, the families of the man and woman join their hands over a “kalasha” (a pot) and pour water over it. The wedding ritual is essentially a 15-minute blessing of the elders to the couple who starts a life together.Now of course, Brahminical traditions and holy fire have crept in, along with the fancy jewellery and a rate card of dowry demands depending on the occupation of the groom.Nonetheless, it is an idea worth exploring: to have a wedding as a celebration in the true spirit of the word, without making the women walking ads for jewellery shops.