Imagine serving chai to elders in Wonder Woman costume. No wonder Rabri Devi doesn't want her DILs to go to cinema halls.

Want to be Rabri Devis daughter-in-law Heres how you can make a successful applicationPTI
Voices Sarcasm Monday, June 12, 2017 - 14:15

Dear women,

If you've been looking for a dream job opening*, look no further. Also, pass on the information to your friends because this is not one job we're talking about but two. YESSSS!

To qualify for the job, you should be able to look after the house, respect elders, and manage outside work just like Rabri Devi, who used to be the CM of Bihar. So if she could make rotis, respect elders, manage 9 children and do the very important job of running the state in the 24 hours she'd been given, there's no reason for you to throw up your hands and say it's too much.

You will always have enough time if you stop doing unnecessary things like going to cinema halls, malls, and waterfalls (okay, Rabri Devi doesn't forbid waterfalls...I just added that because it rhymed). Take it from the first woman CM of Bihar who is currently looking for wives for her sons - Tej Pratap and Tejashwi Prasad Yadav, both of them ministers in the Bihar government. 

On Sunday, Rabri Devi revealed during husband Lalu Yadav's 70th birthday celebrations that she was bride hunting these days: "I don't want cinema hall and mall-going girls. She should be one who can look after the house, respect elders, and manage outside work, just like me." 

Now you may say that Rabri Devi is a hypocrite - after all, the family owns the land on which a Patna mall stands. The mall was recently in the news because of allegations of corruption. However, if you say such things, you will be immediately disqualified because you're being disrespectful to an elder. Read the eligibility criteria again, please.

Malls are especially bad for women because of the junk food in the food courts which can cause hormonal imbalance and lead to infertility. Also, the stylish mannequins in the shops make women think they can also be stylish like that. And what happens as a consequence? Rape. Always, elders have scientific reasons for controlling women.

Rabri Devi is quite right about turning her nose up at cinema halls, too. Just look at the kind of modern ideas they propagate - in the dark, no less. Imagine serving chai to elders wearing Wonder Woman's costume. Most impractical. 

We're not sure if Rabri Devi has any objections to women who eat chowmein or use cell phones but it's possible that she does. 'Well-cultured' is a very broad term and other than the peacock whose culture is beyond reproach, Rabri Devi is well within her rights to show you the door for not being sanskaari enough. Don't whine about sexist treatment when you're being too sexy for your own good.

We don't know if the eligible bachelors - Tej Pratap and Tejashwi Prasad Yadav - are enamoured by the idea of marrying women who're just like their mother but Rabri Devi sure has made her expectations clear. Take that for woman power!

So dear women, before your time runs out and you lose all the eggs in the basket...I mean, your ovaries...please apply for the posts of Rabri Devi's DILs. If this cannot tempt you, I do not know what will. 

As Nelson Mandela once said, "It's better to make aloo gobi than watch movies." 

*This is an unpaid position. Your reward will come in the after-life.

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