Flix Thursday, April 30, 2015 - 05:30
Written by  Vijayta Lalwani

It’s a brave new digital world out there. More and more Indians, every day, are buying smartphones. Narendra Modi has announced that he will create a Digital India, where every Indian is connected to the internet and utilize it for better commerce, and helping improve governance. Or not. Perhaps it is too much to ask desis to access the digital world to do something sensible with it. The News Minute had earlier reported on WhatsApp being used to circulate rape videos, and Facebook being the den of paedophilia. Now we have stumbled on to some of the worst Android apps out there, replete with disgusting misogyny and dangerous misinformation. Sample this: An app meant to be giving tips for suhaagraat, with more than 1000 downloads, informs its gullible users, “Jin logo ne shaadi se pehle girlfriend aur prostitute se sex kiya hua hota hai, woh first night mai nakaam hojate hai”. Loose translation: “Those who have previously had sex with a girlfriend or prostitute, they will fail on their first night of marriage.” The suhagraat is the first night after the wedding when the bride and the groom consummate their marriage. The suhagraat app gives a step-by-step guide on how to have a successful first night. The guide is divided into five different steps. The first step, being a guide on how to enter the room, tells the importance of shutting the door and making sure that your cousins aren’t peeking in. “Suhagraat ke mudekhai ka gift suhagraat ke sex se zyada important hai,” goes the app, explaining that the gift for the bride is more important than the sex. It further stresses that men have more power than women, and those men who are dominated by their wives are bound to be unsuccessful on their first night. And for those who scare and threaten their wives, bad news, you will be unsuccessful because all that threatening and shouting would give your wife a lot of tension and make her vagina dry. And a dry vagina is a problem. The one which walks away with the award describes the female body. Having clocked more than a 100,000 downloads (yes, you read that number right), this app goes a step ahead as it makes a revolutionary claim that women have 24 pairs of chromosomes in their DNA, not 23 pairs like our scientists would have us believe. Here are the more repulsive bits. Apparently, women who have slight hair on their chest are most likely to have had multiple affairs, and do not hesitate to let their families and husbands down. It further claims that women with lips slightly outward are the outspoken types that love to taunt others. Beware of red haired women, they get angry real quick and are always ready to pick a fight! And just in case you were beginning to accuse these app creators of attacking only women, the men don’t have it easy either. Another app, explaining the male body, with more than 500 downloads claims that men with thin lips behave more like women. And if you want to look attractively tall and slim then skinny jeans is your calling. It also gives a detailed analysis on why men are more attracted to older women, one of the reasons being, ‘Bed mein zyada experience’. There are many such apps, and all of them are free of cost. The existence of such apps is amusing because the content makes one laugh, but it’s also scary because there are gullible people using them and being terribly misled.