Manufactured Nonsense: Aaj Tak’s astrology show on Modi, Kejriwal and terror

Should channels be giving air-time to such shows?
Manufactured Nonsense: Aaj Tak’s astrology show on Modi, Kejriwal and terror
Manufactured Nonsense: Aaj Tak’s astrology show on Modi, Kejriwal and terror
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While the country continues to debate intolerance, terrorism and even Salman Khan's 50th birthday, who’s to blame for what etc, the answer to the country’s problems has come from a completely expected quarter.

Called “Uparwala Dekh Raha Hai” the show is apparently the “most unique and most dynamic” show in “the history of Indian television”.

With 18 cameras in the “Chatroom”, and six “experts” (including a tarot card reader, astrologers and a numerologist) having a free and fair discussion on Indian and world politics, this was definitely a path-breaking programme on a television channel which has a licence to telecast news and current affairs.

And they did discuss current affairs – whether Salman Khan and Rahul Gandhi would get married, ISIS attacks in the world and in India, the opposition to Modi from within the party and without and the “bright year” ahead for Salman Khan who was likely to be cleared in the black buck case.

Modi

While an elderly astrologer with a mane of white hair expounded at length on just how bad Modi’s luck was going to be according to his kundali, the numerologist interrupted him.

(If you are the pedantic type of person – from before the Rule of the Secularists – then you might wonder: election affidavits do not require people to fill in their time of birth, so how did these guys get it? So hold that thought, the margin of error has been accounted for.)

The numerologist said: “Nobody has the authentic birth time of Modiji, (keeping that in mind) according to my calculations, shani ki jo antardasha hai, chandra me wo shuru ho chuki hai. It is because of this that he is facing these difficulties and the opposition grew and there were attempts to sully his name… because of gochar Rahu.”

ISIS / terror attacks

It was a question from a viewer which got the group talking about this. Narrowing her eyes in apparent concentration, the tarot card reader said that she “saw” that there were “chances” that there could be attacks in February and May. Someone said Delhi and Punjab could be possible targets.

The numerologist helpfully said that according to his “research”, attacks were generally carried out on 10th and 11th of any month because those two dates opened up a VIP entry to get to heaven.

Tarot card adds her two bits of prediction: areas close to water bodies are where ISIS activities will be highest.

Wedding bells

Perhaps to lighten the mood and distract viewers from their certain dire fates, the group began to discuss whether or not Salman Khan and Rahul Gandhi would get married. Apparently, marital bliss is not on the cards for either. Tch tch.

What’s in a name?

While discussing these many crucial aspects of our lives, there was an intense debate on how Delhi’s name was all wrong because its phonetic sounds added up to the number 18, which is apparently not a good thing. (The explanations on why and how, were too technical to follow). All the problems it faced were because of that – earthquakes etc. The suggestion was that it be changed to Bharat, because its phonetics were better numerologically.

Odd Even Formula

This was discussed at length and no one could agree on whether this would be a success. The woman astrologer kept repeating that the scheme won’t work.

Early Diwali for Rahul

If you listen closely to the overall discussion, then Diwali is likely to come early for Rahul Gandhi. One expert said Rahul Gandhi might be Congress chief by September. Then the pedantic numerologist pointed out that “they would have to speculate” because the exact time of Rahul Gandhi’s birth is also not known.

In a separate section of the programme, someone said that the Congress’ “antim satyanash” – the final destruction – would begin in September because “shani would be in dhanu”. Put two and two together and presto – the Congress will sink like the Titanic with Rahul Gandhi as the captain.

Solution

India’s ancient wisdom has cleared the secular bandwagon of any malicious intent towards the Prime Minister and his government and suggested that the motley lot, including the pesky Opposition (not to mention the Award Wapsi gang), was being controlled by the tiresome twosome – Rahu and Shani.

It has also provided warning to the Indian government: under no circumstances must the Indian government pledge the Armed Forces with the UN to fight ISIS. Well, someone’s been reading something that’s out of his comfort zone. West Asia experts have always maintained that external interference in West Asia has been a major cause for the region’s troubles.

But as one guy said during the show, when discussing Salman Khan’s future: anyone who chants Hanuman’s name will be fine. The tarot card reader pointed out that Salman Khan had sung the Hanuman Chalisa in one of his films.

Our take:

Misery could be one of the reasons that drive people toward coping mechanism: faith or religion, an entertaining film, political activism, the supernatural, or fortune-tellers. Naturally, the prediction of the future and the like must be debated, and the media must be one of the platforms for this, regardless of whether one thinks it is half-baked or not.

Listening to such people worry over whether Khan and Gandhi will tie the knot or not can be ignored. However, allowing them to answer questions on whether ISIS will attack India and whether there are threats to the prime minister’s life is not the job of a media organization. Moreover, it is the fundamental duty of every citizen of this country to “develop the scientific temper, humanism and spirit of inquiry and reform”

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