If 'brouhaha' is MidDay-speak for rape, what do you call other crimes? Here's a list

Amidst the ongoing Tejpal fury, a new language has been birthed.

When celeb-columnist, fellow-liberal torch-bearer and recently discovered rape-apologist Malvika Sanghvvi decided that it was time for us to re-THiNK the 'excessive' media campaign against targeting of Tejpal over his rape allegations, she chose to use a cute replacement for sexual assault - brouhaha.

Read- In the name of liberalism: Mid-Day’s shameful whitewash of Tarun Tejpal

So cute. And so inspirational. We think this must be an entirely new language - GraveErrorese. This is the language you use when you want to manufacture social acceptance for your disgraced buddies accused of committing crimes, simply because, well, The Politics Is (not) Right.

Here's a selection from The Grave Error dictionary:

nomnom
noun
The killing of another human being by a person who always chews with his mouth closed, sometimes known as murder. While the killing is a grave error, the world must understand that we need more people who chew the good chew.

askubusku
noun
'Light beating' of a member of the household when committed by a man who always pays his taxes on time. Formerly known as domestic violence, askubusku is usually dismissed because we need to expand our tax net, not contract it.

bow-wow
noun
Frivolous killing of couples, families, and sometimes whole communities when the couple in question marries out of caste or religion. Also known as honour killing. If the grave error is committed by men who always put the toilet seat down, it should be ignored.

dandanaka
noun
Harmless after-party driving that may kill a pavement dweller or two, formerly known as 'drunken driving'. Always laughed off when the dandanaka-ist brushes his teeth twice a day since the world needs to fight bad breath.

cawcaw
noun
Light beating and torture of inmates by police officials who don't take sick leave. Usually ignored as a small grave error because the world needs sincere officers who fight casual leavism.

chungilipops
noun
Sexual abuse of a child committed by a person who always wears his seat belt. This grave error must be excused since the world needs everyday heroes who can set an example to the next generation.

tain-tain-fish
noun
Friends helping out friends in need by publishing favourable stories in return for money, also known as paid news. To be ignored when done by classy writers who compose alluring prose, because the world needs to fight bad grammar.