Overcome by the severe stress of going out to work while leaving her young daughter with intellectual disabilities alone at home, a mother arrives at a decision — to kill her daughter and take her own life. Such is the tragedy behind the story of 58-year-old Vimala Kumari, a midday meal cook at the Chamundikunnu Government High School, who was found dead along with her daughter Reshma R at her house in Panathady panchayath of Kerala’s Kasaragod district on Monday, May 30. Vimala’s 28-year-old daughter, a victim of the Kasaragod endosulfan pesticide disaster, was found lying on the bed with a towel around her neck. Preliminary probe had suggested that the mother may have strangled her daughter, before ending her own life.
According to her neighbours, Vimala was under a lot of stress, trying to balance her job at the school — which was necessary to make ends meet — with her role as a caregiver for her daughter. “I feel for her. I have been in her shoes. All of us, single parents of children with disabilities, would have considered death at least once in our lives. I have been fighting to survive all these months just because I was scared to die,” says Vasanthi, whose 22-year-old son has also fallen prey to the deadly pesticide, which was aerially sprayed on plantations close to where they lived several years ago.
Over the past two years, Vasanthi’s son Manjunatha, who also lives with intellectual disabilities like Reshma, has been accompanying his mother as she goes from house to house as a domestic worker. This had become the only way for Vasanthi to manage her family, after the BUDS school near their house in Enmakaje was closed down in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. BUDS schools are free and open special schools that have been established across the state for people with intellectual and psychosocial disabilities, run by the Kudumbashree and the respective local self government bodies in different parts of the state.
“It was eight years ago that Vimala’s mother-in-law died,” N Vincent, a member of the Panathady panchayat, tells TNM. After she lost her husband 20 years ago, it was her mother-in-law who took care of Reshma while she went out for work. “After Vimala’s mother-in-law too died, she admitted her daughter to an institute run by nuns in Birikulam. When the pandemic hit, the institute was shut down. But Vimala was able to manage with her daughter at home, as schools were not functioning and she did not have to go to work regularly,” he recalls.
However, Vimala’s struggles suddenly amplified when the schools opened up and Reshma refused to return to the Birikulam institute. “She was trying to send her daughter back to the facility. But Reshma did not want to and started to get very upset when the topic was brought up, which had upset Vimala,” Vincent says, adding that the middle-aged woman was also battling concerns about who would look after Reshma after her death. “The thought that she would have to leave behind a 28-year-old woman with mental disabilities alone at home to fend for herself might have haunted her.”
There are currently no BUDS schools in Panathady panchayath. The nearest one is more than 7 km away in Kallar, and it is far from practical to go there daily. “A BUDS school building was constructed at Panathady a few years ago. But it did not start functioning because there was no water and electricity connection,” says Vincent, further pointing out that Vimala was not the only person in the panchayat who lived such a plight.
“There are more single mothers here, including elderly women, whose children live with mental disabilities. Their situation should be addressed,” Vincent adds. The state government had allotted Rs 5 lakh as part of the compensation meant for endosulfan victims to Vimala, of which she had received Rs 3 lakh.
Though the affected families’ long term request to establish residential schools for endosulfan victims in the region is yet to see results, the BUDS schools have been a great relief for the parents. Besides a teacher, parents too take turns to attend to the children who arrive at these schools.
A BUDS school teacher from Kasaragod opines that Vimala might have survived if a BUDS school was functioning in her area. “More than providing money to them, it is important to establish a sustainable way of protecting such families. Most parents of affected kids are concerned if there would be anyone to take care of their children when they are gone. This struggle is compounded for single parents coming from poor economic backgrounds. A new policy has to be put in place after considering all these factors,” she says. There are also women living in isolated places, who need to be mapped and reached out to with help, she adds.
Seema Lal, special educator, mental health researcher and co-founder at TogetherWeCan, says that it is the responsibility of the local self government bodies to strengthen the policy of reaching out to vulnerable families. “Our wide Kudumbashree network can really help in supporting such families. Single mothers who have children with disabilities come under the most vulnerable category. They should have a strong support system backing them,” she notes.
Instead of considering Vimala’s case as an isolated incident, the government should take immediate measures to identify such families across the state and provide them with requisite support, Seema says. “As per our present system, people working with our local bodies and the Kudumbashree are best suited to map those in need, because they will be aware of even the remotest areas. The victims are often not in a position to seek help or act accordingly, so it is the policy itself that has to reach out to them and offer support,” she adds.
TNM had earlier reported on the struggles of Gomathy Amma, who, with no other option in sight, had resorted to building a small cell (room with grills) in her house to lock her 38-year-old son with mental disabilities in while she went outside. The two-member family lives in a rented two-room house near Vattappara of Thiruvananthapuram. “It breaks my heart to lock him in my house like this, but what will I do? I cannot think of his plight after my death. I always hope that we both die together,” an aggrieved Gomathy had told TNM.
If you are aware of anyone facing mental health issues or feeling suicidal, please provide help. Here are some helpline numbers of suicide prevention organisations that can offer emotional support to individuals and families.
Tamil Nadu
State health department's suicide helpline: 104
Sneha Suicide Prevention Centre - 044-24640050 (listed as the sole suicide prevention helpline in Tamil Nadu)
Andhra Pradesh
Life Suicide Prevention: 78930 78930
Roshni: 9166202000, 9127848584
Karnataka
Sahai (24-hour): 080 65000111, 080 65000222
Kerala
Maithri: 0484 2540530
Chaithram: 0484 2361161
Both are 24-hour helpline numbers.
Telangana
State government's suicide prevention (tollfree): 104
Roshni: 040 66202000, 6620200
SEVA: 09441778290, 040 27504682 (between 9 am and 7 pm)
Aasara offers support to individuals and families during an emotional crisis, for those dealing with mental health issues and suicidal ideation, and to those undergoing trauma after the suicide of a loved one.
24x7 Helpline: 9820466726
Click here for working helplines across India.