On July 30, after a nikah – a crucial stage in an Islamic wedding – took place in Paleri, Parakkadavu of Kozhikode, pictures celebrating and appreciating the event began to spread on social media. The highlight was the bride’s presence during the nikah, a not so common practice in Islamic weddings. But as it happens for all such stories, comments criticising and condemning the presence of the bride, Bahija Daleela, soon began appearing on social media. In a few days, a wedding, happily performed and celebrated by a family, blew up into a controversy.
“We had asked permission [from the Mahal that conducted the wedding] if the bride could sit at the venue. We have known all of them at the Mahal Committee for years. The Mahal secretary gave us permission. He also asked the khali, who heads the Mahal and conducts weddings, for permission, which was happily granted. The nikah happened and 400 people attended it. Everyone was happy. There was no controversy or question at the time. Later, a few people wrote appreciatively about the wedding on Facebook, and some even made videos. That’s when criticising comments began to appear,” says Fasil Shahjahan, brother of the bride.
Malayalam reports quoted Bahija as saying that her biggest blessing was to have taken part in the nikah with her father and the groom. Where is the justice in banning my presence at such a crucial moment, she reportedly asked.
Some critical comments in response to the news had questioned the Mahal Committee for allowing such a wedding, while some asked if it was Islamic. “This put a lot of pressure on the Mahal Committee. They gathered for a meeting and said that the decision was wrong. The khali and the general secretary were asked to apologise, which they agreed to immediately. They didn’t want any trouble. So they prepared a notice, which got shared on WhatsApp groups. It looked bad, but they did it out of pressure,” Fasil says.
The notice, which he shared on a post on Facebook, says it was wrong of the secretary to have given permission without consulting everyone, and also criticises women taking photographs at the wedding.
“I met the committee. This is a mosque that allows women inside (some mosques don’t). If the problem is that photos were taken when the bride was present, they should say so. This happens in Qatar, Saudi and other [Muslim] countries. Then why were they made to apologise? It seems that some members in the mahal were against the presence of the bride in the nikah,” Fasil adds.
He asks how it becomes an issue that a few women in the family took a selfie at the venue of the wedding. “It was appreciated when women at Shaheen Bagh protested with or without the hijab. This is a Jamaat-e-Islami mosque, which propagates progressive ideas. It is an organisation that allowed women members in Mahal Committees for the first time. So how can a selfie of women at the nikah become a problem,” Fasil asks.