"Kavalai Vendam", written and directed by Deekay, is a romcom about two people who get married for no good reason (to be fair, that does happen a lot) and decide to separate for no good reason. Then, they decide to get back together for no good reason and that's when you begin wondering if there was any good reason for this film to be made. And you keep wondering as the film meanders through its contrived romance and comedy. A “conromcom”, if one had to invent a term.

Jiiva plays Aravind, a chef. Kajal Aggarwal is Divya, his strange...err... estranged wife. The film begins with Divya talking about Aravind to her friend, fondly describing how he assaulted his female swimming instructor as a ten-year-old and then managed to fool her into kissing him. True story. A cringe worthy 'comedy' sequence with RJ Balaji, Jiiva and a transwoman with a few rape jokes thrown in makes another ‘yay’ moment for the audience. There's one more transgender joke in the script so the first one doesn't get lonely.

Whether it's Mayilsamy who plays Aravind's father or Manobala who comes in a small role, all the male characters appear to be walking around with a permanent erection. They also spit a lot for some reason. In between all this, there's some melodrama thrown in for the "family" audience.

Parts of "Kavalai Vendam" seem inspired by "Raja Rani" and "Mouna Raagam" - although it does seem like a travesty to draw that comparison -  but at no point does the film take itself seriously. The relationship between Aravind and Divya remains plastic, with the characters underdeveloped and floundering. By the time the film ends, you don't care if these two unite or jump off a cliff or decide to get into a one-way spacecraft to Mars.

With people either acting horny or depressed on screen, "Kavalai Vendam" is like being in high school all over again. And it feels every bit like a high school production too.