These weddings go to show that family support is important to change norms.

Meet three Kerala couples who broke wedding conventions
news Weddings Saturday, September 03, 2016 - 19:33

Abdul Latheef spent over 18 months pondering what he would gift his daughter on her wedding day.

When she finally got married on Sunday, she was a happy bride who owned 15 paintings drawn by 15 artists right at her wedding venue.

Abdul Latheef, a native of Kuttiyadi in Kozhikode district, has been a drawing teacher for most part of his life. As gold or land did not even feature in the probable gift list, he knew very well what he should gift his daughter.

“What best way to gift my daughter on her wedding day, than to give her a part of my passion?” Abdul Latheef told The News Minute over a telephonic conversation.

His 23-year-old daughter, Hamna, an MPhil student, was glad that she shared her family’s dislike for ostentatious displays of wealth.

At a district meeting of drawing teachers two months ago, Abdul Latheef suggested to his colleagues that they not gift his daughter any expensive items, but spend their valuable time in creating paintings. They readily agreed.

While Hamna and Shareeq got married at her residence in Kuttiyadi, the 15 artists gave life to paintings in an adjacent hall.

“Our family has never been fond of gold and extravaganza. Generally, people conduct concerts and have live food counters at weddings, which is of no particular use,” Abdul Latheef said.

This was also a matter of curiosity for the guests who attended the wedding.

“What generally happens during a wedding is that the guests will start leaving once they are done eating. But here it was different. Most of them stayed till the end of the event, with children even demanding that their caricatures be drawn,” Abdul Latheef fondly remembers.

If you think this is an isolated instance, wait till you hear about Sahla Nechiyil and Anees Nadodi, who made news a few months back for their unconventional wedding ceremony. 

Sahla, a native of Malappuram, demanded that she be given 50 books as mehr instead of demanding gold or money, as is the convention. And her demand was fulfilled. 

Their wedding day was just another day for the two of them, with the couple opting for normal clothes over expensive wedding attire and gold ornaments. 

“Both of us were very clear from the outset itself that neither of us wanted to be trapped in the confines of a conventional marriage. Once married, society will expect the usual stuff from us, as in living together at all costs, sacrificing one’s own interests for the other’s good…so on and so forth. We however refuse to be tied down by such unrealistic expectations, as both of us cherish our own dreams which we hope to fulfil down the line,” Sahla had told The News Minute. 

Breaking conventions needn’t be restricted to ditching gold ornaments and extravaganza. It can be that and much more. 

The story of Sruthi Krishna and Ramnath, a married couple from Alappuzha is one such, reports The Indian Express. Though ditching gold and opting for a register marriage was part of the plan, Sruthi insisted that equality was the order of the day. So, she invited Sheetal Shyam- a transgender activist- to attend the wedding and be the main witness to their marriage. 

All the witnesses (on paper) for their wedding were women from their families, who would otherwise not play a significant role, thanks to patriarchy. 

 

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