The mother-daughter relationship is a beautiful connection, one that can be both wonderful and complex. Mothers and daughters come in many forms — super-moms, ideal daughters, super-tired moms, and annoyed daughters. Some daughters hold a mirror to their mothers, others idealise them, while some move away hoping never to become one themselves. This Mother’s Day, we are thinking about the intricacies of this tender and deep equation by trying to place ourselves in the shoes of both. Dip into our compilation of books on mothers, daughters, and the many worlds between them.
Written by Michelle Zauner, Korean-American musician and vocalist of the alternative pop band Japanese Breakfast, Crying in H-Mart is a memoir which maps the complicated relationship between a mother and daughter cut too short by cancer. Having relocated from Korea to the USA when she was a baby, Michelle loses her ‘Koreanness’ over time, and as a teen moves away from her mother, who she sees as “too controlling.” As an adult, when Michelle attempts to rekindle her relationship with her mother, her mother dies. Michelle not only loses her mother but also her biggest tether to Korean culture. The book is filled with stories about Korean food — the tastes, the smell, her mother’s cooking, and Michelle trying to recreate the meals her mother once made. What follows is the journey of a heartbroken daughter struggling to find her identity and seeking closure, all while trying to cope with the unending nature of grief.
A title like that is bound to pique anyone’s interest. I am Glad My Mom Died is a memoir by American writer and actor Jennette McCurdy where she discusses her successful film career as a child artist and the strained relationship with her abusive and overbearing mother. Jennette was six years old when she got her first acting audition. All her mother wanted was for her only daughter to become a star, and all Jennette wanted to do was to please her mom. Along with her successful career and difficult mother-daughter relationship came anxiety, addiction, and self-loathing. Narrated with refreshing wit, humour, and candour, this is an easy and difficult read at the same time!
Published in 2006, The Lost Daughter follows 48-year-old Leda who decides to spend a summer by herself on the Ionian coast after her adult daughters are away in Canada with their father and her ex-husband. Leda soon finds herself drawn to a Neapolitan family holidaying at the same resort. She forms an intriguing kinship with Nina, a young mother from the family. When Nina’s daughter’s doll goes missing, Leda’s past struggles as a mother resurface. Elena Ferrante introduced the idea of ‘unnatural mothers’ and the ambivalence of motherhood is a recurring theme in many of her works. Despite being an internationally acclaimed novelist, Elena has kept her identity a secret and continues to write using a pseudonym.
Mai takes us into the house of a joint family in North India. Written by International Booker Prize winner Geetanjali Shree in Hindi and translated by Nita Kumar, the novel offers a glimpse into three generations of women and the men in their lives, as seen through the eyes of the daughter. To her new-age children, the mother seems weak and silent and they try to ‘liberate’ her. But as the novel progresses, it explores the ways by which patriarchy is accommodated or challenged across generations and within the same family.
Written in 1989, this classic is about four Chinese women in San Francisco who meet weekly to play mahjong and share stories of their life back in China. United by their hopes for their daughters' futures and the longing for the China they left behind, they call themselves The Joy Luck Club. Growing up in modern America, the daughters find their mothers’ stories and advice irrelevant — until their own inner crises reveal how much they've unknowingly inherited their mothers' pasts.
Written in Madhuri Vijay’s lyrical and evocative prose, The Far Field is a story about Shalini, a young girl in Bangalore, who is left bereft after her mother’s death. Certain that the loss of her mother is somehow connected to Bashir Ahmed, a charming Kashmiri salesman who used to frequent her childhood home more than a decade ago, Shalini sets out on a journey to Kashmir, determined to find him. In Kashmir, she is forced to confront the many facets of politics, the history of the local families, and the violence that threatens to erupt at every corner. How Shalini's choices have repercussions on the people she loves is revealed in the rest of the story.
First published in 1989, Heather Has Two Mummies by Leslea Newman has been touted as the first children’s book to feature lesbian parents. On the first day of Heather’s school, someone asks Heather about her daddy and she begins to wonder, “Am I the only one here who doesn't have a daddy?” This children’s picture book is a refreshing tale about Heather and the relationship between her Mama Jane and Mama Kate.
Champaca Bookstore, Café and Library is an independently-owned women-run bookstore and cafe in Bengaluru. The team chooses books with care and tries to include diverse voices and stories, from across time, place, and experience. Instagram: @champacabooks