Nazreen Fazal’s post has got over 2300 shares and more.

This womans Facebook post on arranged marriages is going viral for all the right reasonsNazreen Fazal/Facebook
Features Marriage Wednesday, December 14, 2016 - 15:37

Many who are in the "marriageable age" would agree that nosy relatives constantly throwing questions at you on why you are still single is probably the favourite pastime of some. 

A Facebook user Nazreen Fazal explains why one shouldn't hastily consent for an arranged marriage, just because one is under pressure. This, she explained, through a Facebook post about her own experience of getting into an arranged marriage and the “process” of getting to know her partner well in advance.

In the post published on December 10, Nazreen writes that when she was first introduced to her husband, she sent him a two-page e-mail, that spoke about herself and her expectations from a life partner. This set the tone of their relationship, she notes.

In the first week of knowing each other, she writes that they exchanged close to 80 emails, that spoke at length about their preferences and views on life.

“I don't have to say this, but obviously I was the one asking most of the questions- 'What do you think about women working? 'What do you think abuse means?' ( I actually asked that) 'When do you want to have children (if at all)?'-- I bombarded him with question after question and he patiently answered each one of them. It took us both two months, Skype calls, and a meeting to 'seal the deal'. He tells me now that my first two-page "autobiography" told him that I was who he was looking for,” Nazreen wrote.

Calling the desi culture funny, Nazreen, who is in her 20s and an alumnus of London School of Economics and University of Nottingham, went on to compare the arranged marriage system in the country to that of how long we take to place an order at a restaurant, to emphasis the irony of the two!

“Ours is a funny culture, this desi one. We spend ages ordering off a menu in a restaurant (butter chicken and garlic naan in the end), but when it comes to selecting a partner FOR THE ENTIRE FRIKKIN' LIFE we expect a man and a woman to meet for a few hours (sometimes less than an hour) and finalise it then and there. In some cases, it's worse, the people who are supposed to get married never meet before the wedding day!” she wrote.

Through her post, Nazreen asked a few pertinent questions regarding the involvement of parents in their children’s marriage, or rather, the decision to get married! She elaborated on the dangers that the parent’s over involvement can cause to the lives of their children, when the couple would realize that they are poles apart, only after the wedding.

Likening one’s life partner to clothes, Nazreen explained why choosing one’s partner is as important as choosing the right garment to wear.

“A garment is supposed to shield you, hide your flaws, accentuate your good features, and, above all- protect you from external elements. Outside of your own body, the garment you wear is the closest thing to you. Your spouse is supposed to be like that. But how can they be a garment you love to don if someone else chose it for you? And really, who here likes their parents' questionable fashion choices? 90s sleeve puffs and bell bottom pants anyone? Take their input, yes, but don't just blindly accept their preferences and make it your own,” she wrote.

Through her post, Nazreen conveyed an important message- that one needs to look ahead of the “wedding” and think about “marriage” instead.

Read the full post here:

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