Of the many things that the internet provides access to, one is anonymity. And while some become digitally anonymous to shirk accountability, the invisibility becomes a boon for others wanting to get something off their chest.
On August 17, a man took to Twitter to talk about something which has haunted him since his 26th birthday in 1998. Using the title “Angry Man” to protect his identity, the man recounts the story of how his wife - whom he initially refers to as his girlfriend - was sexually assaulted when he wasn’t there, his subsequent guilt and how it affected their relationship.
This dude right here is evil. His act of violence in '98 impacted my life & someone that I loved. https://t.co/KgQLEVo6Ia
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
*takes a deep breath*.... It's a long story....
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
It began on July 10, 1998, the day before Angry Man’s birthday, when he goes out drinking with his friends.
July 10, 1998. The day before my birthday. I was out with the homies at an Orioles game. Hung out, got drunk, got high, had a ball.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
My girlfriend at the time had been out planning a surprise b-day party for me. Of course I was not aware of this at the time.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Anyway, I got home sometime around 2am. I admit that I had been driving drunk and should've stayed where I was.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
We lived together in Greenbelt at the time. I pulled up to the condo and saw a rack of police. I was drunk, so I got scared.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
In his inebriated state, he did not make much of the police around his residence and stayed put to avoid being pulled up for driving drunk. But the police were there for a very different reason.
I didn't want to get out of the car and get hit with a DUI, so I sat there for about 30 mins. I then fell asleep.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I woke up around 4am to my girl's sister blowing up my cell phone. I answered and she was screaming "Where are you!?!?"
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I said "I'm right here, I'm right here" as I ran past the police cars still parked there, into the building and to my condo.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
As I ran up the stairs I saw pieces of a dress that I had bought my girl strewn all over the steps. My heart was racing like shit.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I got to my front door and cops were taking fingerprints. I told them who I was, showed my ID and they allowed me access.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
What he saw next, changed everything.
I walked in and my girl was on the floor balled up in a fetal position covered in a bathrobe. I walked over to her & she was shaking
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I kept asking what happened, but she wouldn't answer. She just kept crying. Her sister pulled me away, into the bedroom & broke the news.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
As she arrived home & placed her key in the door, she heard quick footsteps. A man grabbed her from behind & began to choke her.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
He tried to force her into the apartment, but she fought back. He then dragged her down 2 flights of stairs & out of the building.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
From there he assaulted her physically and then forcefully took her to the back of the building into a wooded area.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
At that point, he then sexually assaulted her. He physically assaulted her. He stole her purse & her keys and took off in her car.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
As my girl's sister told me this, I broke down. I mean, I broke the fuck down. I went back out and tried to hug my girl. She screamed.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I talked to the police. They verified what her sister told me. I was in shock. I couldn't breathe.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
My baby was hurting. I wasn't there. I wasn't there to keep this from happening. Dear, God.. why!?!?
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Never in my life had I felt so much pain. I wasn't there to keep her from being raped. I was all kinds of fucked up.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Her sister got her up enough to get her to the hospital. We rode in the car silently. I sat in waiting areas while exams were done.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Got home. Her mom had arrived by then with her other sisters. They all surrounded her with love. Me, she wouldn't let me near her at all
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I just sat there... broken. There was nothing I could do. I'd touch her gently and she'd jump and start crying.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Called a locksmith in the AM & had the locks changed. Called police about the car being stolen. Called insurance. Called my parents.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Cops had nothing on the car. Insurance was being a hassle. My mom then came over to see her.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
They moved less than a week after the incident and put the condo up for sale.
There was no way we could stay there. She was a shell. She didn't say a single word to me for close to two weeks.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
The police would call, say they had potential suspects and I'd drive her down to Palmer Park to look at line-ups. Nothing. A painful process
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Eventually we settled into the basement of a friend's home for shelter. All of our stuff in storage. No car found, no assailant caught.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
After months of going to police station, the leads didn't pan out. No one was caught. The car turned up in the parking lot at Jasper's.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
She refused to get back in the car. State Farm gave me hassle. Claims agent joked that maybe we stole our own car since it was found close.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Guilt, frustration and helplessness in trying to make his wife heal took over.
All the anger & pain bottled up in me released. I jumped over the counter at the State Farm office and grabbed the claims agent.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I'm dealing with all this and this asshole thought we made it all up for insurance money. I lost it. Other employees grabbed me off him
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
We ended up getting compensated for items stolen from the vehicle and nothing else. I sold the car and got her something else.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
For the next 18 mos, it was pure hell. I did everything I could to be there for her. I didn't push sex because I knew what her psyche was.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
No intimacy at all. Even 18 mos later when I tried to hug her, she'd shiver and cry uncontrollably. She refused any suggestions of therapy.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
2 years after the incident, we parted ways. We had been together for 3 years before that terrible night occurred.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I wasn't there to save her from the pain and anguish. I wasn't there. I was out with the homies at a baseball game, drinking & smoking.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
My 26th birthday. A day I'll never forget. The pain I still hold in my heart. The love I had for someone who was sexually assaulted.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Life changed. I changed. I never let any woman I was dating walk to or from my home or theirs without escort or careful watch.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
And while the perpetrator was arrested and sentenced, there was no respite from guilt.
Yes, the perpetrator was eventually arrested & convicted. I started my story with the link to his sentence. https://t.co/KgQLEVo6Ia
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
The system took care of him. Justice right? I don't feel it. He ruined lives. Not just my girlfriend's life, but other women he raped.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Anyway, as you can tell I'm still impacted by it. 18 years later. Thanks for listening...
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
While I'm being transparent & 100% truthful. It wasn't just my girlfriend, it was my wife. Incident occurred a month after we got married.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Still very, very hard to digest. That incident wrecked our marriage. Sadly, there was no recovering from it.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016