'Her father's goons hit me, my wife aborted our child'.... Domestic violence survivors speak out
Features Thursday, October 30, 2014 - 05:30
Monalisa Das | The News Minute | October 21, 2014 | 07:32 pm IST In a country where domestic violence in all its forms- physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal and emotional abuse and economic abuse- is rampant, a significant population of married women often find themselves at the receiving end. Though not as widely discussed as often as compared to women's issues, men too fall victims to domestic violence. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and we bring to you a series of personal accounts of survivors of domestic violence, both men and women, who speak about their experiences and how they chose to react. Read our first story in the series: 'I clung on'... Domestic violence survivors speak out Manjunathan's story ( We had earlier used the name Ramesh KÂ for privacy issues. But after Mr Manjunathan asked for his original name to be used, we have put his name in the copy.) I love my wife. We had an arranged marriage. My wife is a beautiful person. We never had issues between us. She was a very good friend to me. She was my life. But my father-in-law is not a good person. Soon after my marriage, I got to know that my father-in law, a central government employee, was involved in several illegal activities in his department. In fact, he also dragged his younger sister, my wifeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s aunt, into his deeds. I cannot say which illegal activities he is engaged in, but he was doing all of it to make money. So I tried to advice him, I tried to explain him that what all he was doing was not good for the family. I filed an RTI through which I found several irregularities made by him in his department and brought it to the notice of the concerned officials, but it was of no help. They all looked the other way. They seemed to be protecting him. But it did not go down well with him. He knew that my wife had exposed him and his activities in front of me. So his family wanted to control me, so that I did not spill the beans in front of anybody. He threatened me several times, tried to separate me from my family initially, and then from my wife. When this did not deter me, they filed 498 A (Dowry harassment) and 323 of the IPC against me. These were all fabricated charges. They also instigated my wife who invoked the Dowry Prohibition Act 3 & 4 against me. They also made her file a divorce case against me. He has abused, insulted and even threatened harm to my life. I stopped going to the family court since the threats. He threatened me over the phone demanding I withdrew the case I filed against him in his department. He also asked me to give divorce to my wife. I disagreed. Following that, he sent two unknown men to assault me. Luckily I escaped with minor injuries. I filed a complaint against him, but no investigation or enquiry has been done in the matter. They forcibly took my wife away to their house and she stopped talking to me. She ignores me. They have filled her mind with thoughts against me. We even underwent counselling for a while. She only listens to her father. They even got our two-month old unborn baby aborted. What more can I say. I know that if my wife speaks to me, we can resolve the issues between us. But I guess, it is father before husband for her. The entire episode has wreaked havoc in my life. I lost all interest in my job. I could not pay attention to anything. I am fighting for my wife, for her protection. So that whatever her father does, she is not affected by it in anyway, like her aunt is. I do not want my wife to be a part of any of the illegal activities my father -in-law is involved in. My wife and I lived together for close to one year. My wife used to be a happy person. I know she understands my love for her. Read our second story in the series: 'My spouse hits me, I will still never leave him'... Domestic violence survivors speak out
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